Rape A Society disgrace... Part 2....

Thanks To Avni . Payal Varsha. Amay. AAyan Rajan For there View 

 

Rape will be a problem and will remain a problem as long as we try to cover it up. Are girls any safer on our streets now? Does your sister, mother or daughter feel comfortable going out at night wearing whatever she likes? Have you been abroad? Have you ever felt how different you feel when walk with/as a girl outside India? We are nowhere close to that standard when it comes to safety for women. 
 
If food is rotten in your house, will you just cover it up, spray some perfume and proclaim everything is good? Of course not. Let's acknowledge the problem and throw it out instead of blaming the "Western Media" of "fabricating a rape-crisis"!

PS: I agree that the problem of "shaming and projecting a bad image" is also quite real, but it is much smaller compared to the REAL issue at hand. It's like Your child is very sick and needs You, and You outside fighting the kids who are teasing him about his sickness.

PPS: Is someone here actually claiming that pornography causes rape?! Yeah let’s repress our sexuality even more- that's going to work right?

I have a hoarse wire of views difficult to be crunched in a comment but lets try...
It's not one issue... So don't focus on one IT WON'T SOLVE THE ISSUE.

  Home - don't focus anywhere, start from your own place. A father once asked on quora 'how should I bring up my daughter so that she doesn't feel inferior?' (Hats off to the dad he even considered the thought)
So it all starts from home out of the 17,866 rape cases per year only 1/3rd get registered in the court, why? Blame the girl, blame the girl, blame the girl.. Ask her to stay shut, save your fake societal reputation and the girl's confidence goes in drain. This is the problem. 

The solution - as a reply to that father.. Help your wife in the kitchen, if she's working do not bombard on her as she reaches home like a lion for food.. Rather ask her about her day, place a glass of water, help her in EVERY chore. If you have a son, NEVER, EVER discriminate... Let your daughter see you find her responsible equally and encourage her. What happens next in the outside world might not be under our control but I am rather sure she WON'T BLAME HERSELF and she'll NOT KEEP QUIET. It would make a huge difference in her life.

        

Ps.  

 Education starts at home: Parents should teach their child about gender equality and respect for women. They should not support male child over the female child.Both should be made to work at home and boys should also be taught to prepare food or wash utensils. We should get out of our dogmatic mindset and teach our sons some SANSKAAR as we teach our daughters

       Education of girls: Girls should be sent to schools and colleges. Parents should again realise power of education.Instead of arranging for dowry investment in studies would be better. Also girls outperform boys every year in X th and XII th boards

      

 



2. SOCIETY - frankly, I do not believe in meetings, discussions or say campaigns. It isn't possible to gather a bunch of uneducated taporis on the road and teach them the etiquettes of life, their fellow genders respect or even the women they would barge on as they reach home (mum or wife). Rather, THE SO CALLED EDUCATED class would find the GUTS to stand up, get in the middle of something disturbing (FORGOING THEIR CLASS and STATUS or societies verdict that would be more practical). How many times you have been pushed, snapped or commented.. How many times did you truly answer back? Things won't change in a jiff but setting an example would definitely set in a fear...

We should all protest against government whenever these cases come to light either by participating in protest or on social media. Rather than change our Self

 3. POPULATION : I always point this out as a problem in every case as 
- the bizarre sex ratio
- give a damn to the girl, next will b a boy
- I open my eyes and there are 1000 standing infront of me, can I practically teach them all or expect them all to change? NO 

4. LAW : this one is the depressing one, with no hopes I still pose this one as a big problem which can be the best solution (dreamland!)
Are you kidding me when cheap ministers come and tell me it's the girl's fault/ wear salwar Kurta/ why was she out of her house?/ what was she doing with a boy in a land lost area?!

And so the mind boggling solutions I have that can literally eradicate issues, I like to be hopeful.

- FOREMOST, there should be a retirement age in politics. You grow old you quit, use your pension and spend our money just don't sit on our heads and give cheap comments.

- Damnit how could they just ban usage of sprays???!!! Make it as legal as RAPE! :/

- The good wont get reservation but the needies would only get to use it once either for the college, job or promotion whatever... Illiterates come with a secured future in our country how can you even imagine them to respect the system, people or the laws?!

- last one might have a debate but I think female foeticide should be legal. Don't get angry, I have my own set of reasons...

  A girl born in your house is a rare privilege and should be given only to those who respect it (some genuinely die to have a baby girl in their house, it's awesome!).

 
Don't tell me about the male female population, we people even after the rules couldn't make it equal so don't let the weight of equality and population land on the head of an infant. If for once we only focus on that single girl who if comes out will be strangled all her life, abused by her brother, sexually exploited by her own father, given away with dowry and raped at some cornered street where no one would look back or rather start walking faster, she should rather die and wait for a next lifetime till people become more human. It's not her mistake therefore don't let her suffer through it  if you do not have the audacity to respect, protect and adore her !

Then go to Hell  ........................

 

 

Rape A Society Disgrace.... Part 1

 A Spcl thanks To my Some Friends & Bloggers who give there opinin ... en em.....

Rape impacts victim a lot more than the society. Its impact on the society would be on the basis of the one who has suffered it already. The impacts are mostly negative.

Just consider a case when a girl you know has been raped.

No matter how much you try not to, you do judge the victim. You look into the details of "Why was she raped?  Then in a second something you give a thought to yourself or a closed one and beg that it does not repeat (Lets me mention "with" here). You have seen the person suffer and its effect on the family. While writing I feel weird because I have to concentrate more on the society than on the victim, also that makes the whole idea slightly inhuman.

The society has their freedom of thought, very few who wisely use it. There would be few, who would call it as a crime committed by the Rapist and  fight for the victims acceptance in the society by supporting her and work towards bringing back her confidence. The rest would would make stories and create a list of what to do and what not to do and spread it out. These would be the ones who would think it is the victim's "Mistake".

This is a personal view: What hardly happens is an education about this. Precautions for females are familiar, but the society is about both men and women.

….. I think the way society views rape is still very problematic. There are still a lot of myths which we need to address

1. Is the youth so desperate for sex that they have to rape?
2. Are we really worked on the ground level of society's mentality against this crime…?
   
   
3. Is there any solution to this problem? As rape is one of the biggest disgraces to this nation or Entire World…. ?

On In my view….

Rape is one heinous crime which cannot be justified on any ground, neither political, nor religious nor any other possible alibi which might pop up to any stretch of imagination.

First we need to analyze the problem from the root level. Why even this thing happens? How come people react in this way? What socio-psychological background such people have and does it affect their doings? And the most serious one why do men rape women?
As instances of such attacks on women get reported more often, it is undoubtedly clear that only legal preventive action will no longer be a deterrent in curbing sexual abuse.The answer lie in correcting the mindset that leads to such incidents. Interestingly clothes, alcohol, drugs and provocation aren't triggers as some of our leaders would have us believe. Delayed or often denied in justice is also not the reason but often cited.
If you take the statistics, majority of the rapes are committed by less educated people such as drivers, workers, very low income group people and by those people who were not exposed to diversity in life. People who are less educated or with less exposure to diversity tend to become narrow minded, low in maturity and insensitive. I'm not saying that well educated and people who have seen diversity in their life doesn't commit such offence but their ratio is far less than the earlier. Also I'm excluding sexual harassment from these and talking only about rapes, because later one may be more embedded in higher levels. So, we need to constructively identify those sections of people (less educated, low income, less exposed to diversity, etc.), and start educating them with a systematic and effective plan.
Jawaharlal Nehru has very rightly pointed out, "Education has mainly two aspects, the cultural aspect which makes a person grow, and the productive aspect which makes a person do things. Both are essential." Everybody should be a producer as well as a good citizen.

Some Years back in Rohtak, Haryana a incident took place and the video also went viral, i.e. of thrashing a man by two girls on bus. We have to appreciate such incident and in this direction Haryana government had also decided to give them bravery award for acting fearlessly under such circumstance. Such incidents also acts as a brave example for other girls. But what can we expect from such society where the government held the award after listening from certain sections of society that those girls were acting as aggressive even when no one teased them.Unfortunately women get sympathy only when they are brutally raped or killed.

It seems clear that Rape is directly associated with a need for power, familial chauvinism, sexual repression, hatred towards women, and perverse curiosity about violence.  However, what really pushes a rapist to that point – is something not spoken about openly. I’d like to take the matter quite seriously and if my words seem more blunt than usual- it is only meant to wake up a sleeping generation of individuals that are under the influence of fear and contempt.

There is a significant difference between what occurs in the mind of a gang rapist and an individual rapist.

In a gang, there’s always a leader(s) that commands respect which could be explicitly expressed sometimes due to economic advantages over the other members. Other times, it is generally accepted that the leadership role exists to establish, and sometimes even reinforce, the behaviour of the pack. A small number of people controlling a much larger group. The role of the leader is to provide access to resources, access to employment, protection from threats/external agents, and provide a channel for facilitating celebration or at least easing of built up pressure. The leader, driven by blind power and a will to reinforce his authority, takes decisions based on the acceptability level of the current environment and the overall voice of the people. The leader must rape, because the opportunity exists and his pack members count on him to take advantage of every open opportunity.

If women empowerment is deemed inconsequential in their region, then social ostracization or even corporal punishment for oppressing women is not a strong enough deterrent for their actions. It all starts from how young boys perceive their father’s behaviour towards their mother – and believe that they have a right to own women from the get-go. And here in lies the diffusion of responsibility for these men. When this larger follower base starts to blindly accept the orders of their leader, it leads to a loss of individual expression. Psychologists frame this cognitive mindset as conformity bias which leads to a herd mentality group-bias. You’re either a part of us, or you’re against us.

When rapists rape in a group, the fault goes to the one that started it, while the others simply join in as mere participants in something that is already ongoing. That’s how they rationalize it – to start with. I’m only taking part in it because otherwise its a waste. She’s getting raped anyways. Might as well join in.
Underlying all of this is the most important aspect of all. Ego. It is the ego of the man that rapes, which gets the best of him. It gets the beast out of him, and he jumps onto the unsuspecting woman whose only crime was that she was of her gender. And all it takes is for one man or woman to insult him or provoke his ego, and therein begins the journey of gaining his ego back. The only way he knows how – by oppressing through words and then through actions.

For individual rapists. An individual that rapes also does it out of ego and frustration. However the latter is instantly dismissed by the easy access to pornography through their cellphones. These men are going through a troubling time of boredom in their lives and try to live out their fantasies through the woman. At an individual level, a large majority of rapes happen via people that the victim knew earlier. And thus it is the fantasy of the neighbour or the friendly chief of police, which plays out in their heads as simply play. A game. Even a large celebration of the union of man and woman. The culmination of repressing recreational procreation, or sometimes even a confused thought that sometimes creates havoc in their minds until expressed completely. These men are sick and have lost touch with reality, to the extent of inflicting pain on another, to get her to love him back.

Taking the extent of violence in these heinous acts, the punishments do fit the crime. There is a lot of debate around the dangers of de-humanizing these rapist individuals. However, the very fact that they derived pleasure through their violence, v/s doing it out of necessity is the underlying fact of the matter. These men have a twisted view of love, and consider silence and screams as one and the same thing.

We steal because we’re hungry or we like money. We murder in self defence or in protecting what’s ours. We rape because we want to own and use. And that’s why rape is considered one of the most heinous crimes in all humanity. The fact that all of this was done because the criminal wanted a little bit of fun. It could have all been avoided had he been to a brothel or a doctor. Or could it have?

Its a deeper question that must be thought about from the ground up. We can start from the schools, start teaching kids about treating young girls equally. We can start from our workplaces, treating women with the same respect as men. We can start looking at our societies as a whole and realizing that we’re all one and the same people, expressing themselves differently. We can be more open with our thoughts and feelings, then victims wouldn’t have to feel alone. If we were more civil to one another, then we wouldn’t be insulting egos. If were more open with one another, then we would be breaking boundaries instead of destroying lives. If we were more open to not defining ourselves as how others define us, we would be truly free to be whoever we want to be. Instead we end up building roles that we need to fulfil, and the moment that we can’t match up to certain standards set by the preservers of this culture, we try to find ourselves by being more like primal animals. And here in lies the groundwork for extreme violence of any sort. The inability of upholding a constant symbol, in a world that’s ever changing in its balance.

But it can be different if we set our hearts to it. It starts from what’s happening around us, and it can end by listening to what’s happening within us. When it comes to stopping this vile infliction of violence and pain to other beings, we must start from within and build cultures that treat women as equal people, equal minds, and equal souls…….